What Can I Do if My Partner Is Pregnant, but I Don’t Want to Be a Dad?

Hearing the words “I’m pregnant” from your partner can feel overwhelming, especially if the pregnancy was unexpected. You may experience fear, confusion, or even a desire to walk away. It’s important to know you’re not alone in these feelings, and resources exist to help you sort through them.

Liberty Women’s Clinic provides free, confidential services for men and women navigating unexpected pregnancies. No matter your situation, you don’t have to figure out your role by yourself. Schedule a free appointment to get started, and keep reading to learn what to consider first.

Taking Time to Process

First, it’s okay to admit that you feel unprepared. Many men share the fear of not being ready to be a dad. However, pregnancy is a turning point, and how you respond is significant for your partner and your future.

Pausing to reflect, talking honestly with your partner, and seeking outside support are important first steps. Resist the urge to distance yourself because being part of the conversation now can prevent long-term regrets.

Exploring Options Together

As your partner explores her options—parenting, adoption, and abortion—your presence and willingness to listen matter. Becoming a father may not have been in your plans but you still have an opportunity to show respect and support.

If adoption is chosen, both parents would relinquish their rights and responsibilities, and you would not be legally obligated to provide for the child. Adoption can also allow for varying degrees of involvement, depending on the type (open, semi-open, or closed). It is important to talk with your partner and support system when deciding on the long-term relationship you want with your child.

If your partner chooses parenting, you may feel anxious and unsure about the next steps.  However, learning what support is available can help you feel more confident.

You can also explore what role you’re comfortable playing, whether that’s co-parenting or shared custody. Your feelings may change as you learn what help is provided.

Understanding Legal Responsibilities in Missouri

In Missouri, an unmarried mother automatically has custody of the child at birth. You do not automatically have custody as the biological father unless paternity is established.

If you sign a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity or it is established through court proceedings (often with DNA testing), you could become legally and financially responsible for the child. That means:

• You may be required to pay child support until the child turns 18 (or graduates from high school).
• If paternity is established, you can also pursue custody or visitation rights through the courts.
• Even if you initially feel you don’t want to be a dad, the law may still obligate you to support the child financially.

Knowing your rights and responsibilities early can help you make thoughtful decisions and avoid surprises later. If this feels overwhelming, take a deep breath. You don’t have to navigate this situation by yourself.

Support for Men

The good news is that help exists for men who feel unsure about fatherhood. Liberty Women’s Clinic provides resources and a community specifically designed for men navigating unexpected pregnancies.

We can also connect you to other local organizations so you don’t have to face this situation alone.

We’re Here for You

You may not feel ready for fatherhood, and that’s okay to admit. However, you don’t have to carry this alone. Liberty Women’s Clinic offers free and confidential services for both you and your partner.

Schedule an appointment today to learn about the support available for men during unexpected pregnancies.

FAQ:

If I don’t want to be a dad, can I choose adoption without my partner’s agreement?

No. In Missouri, both parents must agree to the adoption, or legal steps must be taken through the courts.

What if I ignore the situation?

If paternity is established later, you may still be legally required to pay child support, even if you weren’t involved early on.

Can I talk to someone about my fears without my partner present?

Yes. Liberty Women’s Clinic provides individualized support for men in a completely confidential setting.

Does Liberty Women’s Clinic provide abortions?

No. Liberty Women’s Clinic does not provide or refer for abortions. We do offer free and confidential information, support, and referrals so you and your partner can make informed decisions.

This information is intended for general educational purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional counseling and/or medical advice.